My stroke: the difficult recovery.

Out of the hospital, we tried to get me back on track.
I would have needed a speech therapist, but in Belarus they dismissed me immediately: they didn't know if I spoke poorly because of the stroke or because I was a foreigner and hadn't studied Russian in school, but only learned it on the street. I had also forgotten Italian, and even English and Spanish.

The people close to me acted as makeshift speech therapists. I didn't want to speak, I would have stayed silent like my grandfather. But, seeing the effort they made to be near me, I had to give in. They tried to re-teach me all the languages. It wasn't to communicate with others: it was to stimulate the brain to work.

Even myself, when I was alone, I went back to the computer and started using AI.

Changes in Reasoning

In the community of friends I was the “computer guy”, the nerd: every time there was someone who gave me a phone or a computer in hand to solve their problems. Today I'm no longer able to do that.

I know that certain things I've already done, I know I could do them, but I can't connect the steps to repeat them. I have a planning and sequencing difficulty: I know the goal, but I get lost in the steps.

It's as if the “director” in my head gets tired: I don't coordinate the various parts of my thinking well. I focus on one thing at a time, then I get sleepy, I get distracted, and I lose the thread.

Even to write these pages, I start with disorganized thoughts that I throw into AI: she rewrites them. Many sentences come out twisted, sometimes she misinterprets, but at least by rereading I can correct and fix them.

In my head I have the complete article, but while writing I lose terms and connections. Thanks to AI I can transform disconnected fragments into something readable.

Emotional Changes

After the stroke I became much more weather-sensitive: a gray day can sadden me or send me into depression.
The desire to speak and make friends has completely disappeared. I prefer silence and being on my own, because the mental effort of relating is too high.

Medications and Pains

The treatments I received include statins, anticoagulants, and blood thinners.
Over time they started causing me joint and muscle pains. They weigh on me, but despite this I don't want to stop: I know they reduce the risk of complications and, for as annoying as they are, I prefer to keep them rather than risk another stroke or heart attack.

Diet and New Habits

With the stroke, my relationship with food has also changed:

• I wanted more protein, vegetables no longer attracted me;

• so more meat and less vegetables;

• I tried to reintroduce coffee, but something gives me a headache in the brain;

• occasionally a drink of alcohol, but no more;

• some sweets outside the house, like ice cream, but at home I continue with sweeteners.

I don't know if it's good or bad, but the important thing is that I feel satisfied.

Two Years Later

Reasoning is no longer what it was. After two years I think I've returned maybe to 50%, but I feel that something in my brain has changed. Perhaps the brain scars have modified my thoughts.

I didn't know, but after two years a new CT scan confirmed: the report specifically mentioned scars in the brain.
And regarding aphasia, after two years it seems to have disappeared… or perhaps I've simply gotten used to living with it and anyway I speak as little as possible. 

In the meantime I've also moved from Belarus to Italy.

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⚠️ Warning
This is my personal experience. I am not a doctor. Every stroke recovery is different. Never stop medications without talking to a professional. Always consult doctors and specialists.